Smile. The show must go on

It was finally over. While the green spotlight faded away, Rachel’s mind faded too. She could see by then just blurred glances of people’s heads merging with darkness, and her ears barely caught the echo of the word “encore” which was accompanied by a chorus that was calling her name. She felt overwhelmed and the only thing in her mind was getting out of the stage and reaching the calmness of her private backstage room. She did not mean the words of thankfulness that she was pronouncing by that moment, she rather repeated them like a recorder machine without realizing it.

The anger she felt made her walk through the backstage corridors without looking at anyone; she walked rapidly, almost ran until she locked the door of her backstage room behind her. As she threw herself on the couch, big tears started to run down by her cheeks and her mind turned on again. Combined waves of feelings assaulted her brain; the tears that she was catching with her sleeves were produced by anger as well as by sorrow. She felt so lonely; though outside in the stage there was still a whole crowd calling her name and dying to have at least one more chance to see her, Rachel thought that she was alone in a world in which nobody could understand how she felt. Everybody in that world thought that fame was everything one could get in life; they thought that if a 19 years old girl became famous she had already reached the top of the world.

But nobody knew what it felt like being recognized everywhere; nobody knew what it felt like having a thousand eyes staring at her 24/7. That was what made her so angry, that while everyone in the world thought of her like a goddess, she felt like going back to the hell of which she came from; and every time she thought of her old lifestyle, homesickness reigned in her heart. Rachel’s feelings continued exchanging places in her soul while she lied on the couch with her empty gaze fixed on the ceiling.

Thus passed half an hour until a knock on the door warned her that it was time to get out again to the stage for the next concert she had to perform that night. Her manager, whose attitude towards her couldn’t have been more indifferent, told her before leaving that before the next concert a press conference was waiting for her in the main hall of the venue.

Great!

 That was what she needed: a dinner with wolves where she was going to be the main dish. Some minutes later, while answering dull questions she couldn’t help thinking of other young celebrities that had been already eaten by those wolves. She knew they took advantage of every exposed weakness: Scandals made over drugs, alcohol, sex and every common human sin which is even more badly seen when performed by a Hollywood God or Goddess. Nonetheless, Rachel was not going to be such an easy prey. She would not allow her feelings to go out in that moment to be devoured by those beasts. She put on a smile and finished the press conference with an enthusiasm that was, indeed, taking place in her soul by that moment overshadowing the feelings that possessed her for the last hour. Thus she stood up and she headed to her backstage room once more in order to put on her clothes and to prepare for the upcoming show. She did it quickly and passed through the corridors, again running, but this time, encouraged by a new sort of energy.

She decided that even though she had felt bad -and she knew she would feel like that again- she would not allow herself to get consumed by those emotions. Henceforth she would think that the fact that she was talented and famous meant something, and that she should give the best side of her to the world without expecting any reward. She reached the stage again; she hit the lights put on a smile and thought “The show must go on”